Embracing Independence: A Journey to Self-Discovery
As we celebrate Independence Day this week, I find myself reflecting deeply on the concept of independence and what it means on a personal level. Independence isn't just about the freedom our nation celebrates; it's about the personal freedom we cultivate in our lives. The 4th of July is particularly special to me as it's also my birthday. Born with the fireworks on the bicentennial year of 1976, I came into this world as little Miss Independence, making a grand entrance that seemed to set the tone for my life.
From the very start, independence was woven into the fabric of who I am. I had this 'I can figure it out and do it myself' attitude from the beginning. When someone told me I couldn't do something, my immediate response was, "Watch me." Even when faced with tasks I didn't particularly enjoy, I found creative ways to put my personal spin on them, making them my own.
What Does Personal Independence Mean?
Personal independence means making choices and taking actions that feel right to you, without being influenced or controlled by others. It's about having the freedom to live your life your way and the courage to stick to your decisions, even when things get tough. It also means being able to take care of yourself without relying on others for help, which gives you more control and confidence in your abilities.
The Dance of Independence in Relationships
Learning to balance independence within relationships can be one of life’s biggest lessons. Picture a dance where both partners are leading—there’s no graceful flow, just a lot of stepped-on toes. Healthy Independence in a relationship means taking turns, respecting each other's space, and allowing both individuals to shine. For instance, my husband Travis and I recently spent three weeks touring Europe. We're both independent people and could have easily traveled solo, but we love sharing our adventures together. We validate each other's opinions without losing our independence, finding ways to make it a win-win.
When deciding where to eat, for example, we either find a restaurant that offers something we both like or take turns choosing. Sure, we could stand firm on our preferences and eat separately, but we enjoy the duet more than the solo act. This approach not only strengthens our bond but also broadens our experiences—we try more flavors and foods than if we each stuck to what we wanted individually.
A Lesson in Independent Thinking
A significant part of my journey has been learning to have an independent mind rather than a dependent one. Growing up as a people pleaser, I cared deeply about others' opinions and often found myself lying to please everyone, only to do what I wanted behind their backs. In my community, being seen as a perfect little church girl was important. I would dress up and show up for church but quickly slip out before getting caught in long lessons that dictated how I should live.
It took time and courage to break free from this pattern. I had to learn to be true to my own thoughts, beliefs, and actions without putting on a fake front. This journey towards mental independence has been crucial in helping me live authentically and confidently.
Tips for Cultivating Independence
Know Yourself: Spend time understanding your values, beliefs, and passions. The better you know yourself, the easier it will be to make decisions that align with your true self.
Set Boundaries: Learn to say no and set boundaries that protect your well-being. This is crucial in maintaining your independence while respecting others.
Embrace Self-Reliance: Develop skills and habits that allow you to take care of yourself. Whether it's managing your finances, cooking, or making travel plans, self-reliance builds confidence.
Respect Others’ Independence: In relationships, honor your partner’s need for independence as much as your own. This mutual respect creates a healthy balance and strengthens the bond.
Challenge Yourself: Step out of your comfort zone and take on new challenges. This not only boosts your confidence but also expands your horizons.
Reflecting on Independence
As we celebrate this 4th of July, let’s honor the spirit of independence by finding our own balance. Take time to reflect on what independence means to you. How does it show up in different aspects of your life? Are you independent of the thoughts and judgments of others? How is your way of being independent working in your relationships? What changes can you make to live a healthy, independent life?
Invitation to Continue the Journey
I invite you to continue this journey of self-discovery and growth. Tune in to the Radiate Health and Wellness Podcast for empowering stories and practical tips for living your healthiest, happiest life. Check out my book, Discover the Adventure of You, available on Amazon and other online retailers, and search my website to read blog posts, discover healthy recipes, contact me, and inquire about health and wellness coaching.
Let's celebrate Independence Day by embracing our personal independence and living authentically. Until next time, stay well and radiate health and wellness in all that you do!
